


Step into the Light

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [43]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard (Marvel), Avenger Loki (Marvel), Body Worship, Coffee Addict Tony Stark, Communication, Confessions, Confused Tony Stark, Confusion, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Gentle Sex, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Pining, Propositions, Romantic Fluff, Sex, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 10:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: When Tony offered to pretend to be Loki’s husband in order to help him out of a sticky situation, he didn’t expect that it would be quite like this.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [43]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 46
Kudos: 684
Collections: LokixTony





	Step into the Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [STARSdidathing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/gifts).



> Thank you ~~again ❤︎~~ to Stars, for the wonderful feelsy plot idea (and a smidge of dialogue) that I couldn't just leave alone.  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“I never meant to hurt you.”_

Loki was being overly affectionate.

And okay, so it wasn’t like that was particularly odd, considering the circumstances– they _were_ pretending to be married, after all, but it wasn’t _necessary_ , and it was making Tony think about things that he never had before.

It all started when Loki was summoned back to Asgard by the Allfather himself. That was strange enough just as it was, because Loki still had three years banishment to Midgard left on his ‘prison sentence’, but then Thor received a hint from his mother that Odin was planning to offer Loki as a husband to the princess of Alfheim– and from the way that Loki’s expression twisted, Tony could tell that was something he was completely and utterly opposed to.

Tony had asked if there was some way to get out of it, but both Thor and Loki were certain that Odin would not allow such a thing. Loki was still in Asgard’s bad books, after all, and despite technically still being a prince, it was in name only. But even Thor could do nothing about it, and he doubted that his mother could either– because if so, Thor said, then she probably would have already.

But Tony was not about to stand by while Loki was forced to marry against his will, and thinking up solutions to seemingly impossible problems was something he was good at. Although– this problem wasn’t all _that_ impossible, since he had an answer on the tip of his tongue mere seconds after he had seen Loki’s expression fall.

“Why don’t you just marry someone else?” Tony suggested.

Loki glanced at Tony with complete and utter incredulity. “Excuse me?” he asked. “Is that not exactly what I am hoping to _avoid?”_

“Well, you don’t have to do it for real,” Tony pointed out. “Aren’t you meant to be a master of illusion? You only have to put on a good enough show to convince the Asgardians and the… Alfheimians?”

“Elves,” Thor interjected helpfully.

“And the elves,” Tony continued– and everyone really should be proud of him, it took _restraint_ not to make a Tolkien joke, you know. “That can’t be so hard, right?”

Loki’s eyes were already starting to brighten with the gleam of a good plot, but there was something pinched that remained about the corner of his lips as he muttered, “I doubt I would be able to find anyone willing to pretend to be my wife.”

Tony shrugged. “I’d do it.”

There was a moment where Loki looked as if Tony had honestly surprised him, and Tony grinned. It was always a good feeling, when he managed to think of something that Loki didn’t.

“ _You_ would?” Loki asked.

“Yeah, sure. Well, maybe not a _wife_ , since I don’t think I have the right body parts, but I reckon I could play the part of husband well enough. Unless you want to actually cast an illusion, make me look like a woman for a bit? That could be fun.”

“That would not be necessary.” Loki sounded a little strangled. He stared at Tony for a moment longer before– “You would really do that for _me?”_

“Of course I would,” Tony said. “Loki, you’re my friend, and I’m not about to let you get married off against your will. Not if there’s a way that I can help.”

Loki still looked stunned, but then his whole face brightened with a smile so delighted that Tony couldn’t help but return it.

So, yeah.

Just like that, Tony was ‘married’ and packing his bags to visit another freaking planet.

Thor hadn’t been able to come, since with both Tony and Loki leaving, the Avengers would need him just in case something happened. And besides, it wasn’t _him_ that the Allfather had asked for.

Loki seemed sure that they would be better off without Thor’s presence anyway, without that reminder that Loki was the _least_ favoured prince, and Tony was not about to argue with him. And the very next morning, he was stepping into Loki’s arms on the designated spot outside one of the SI warehouses upstate.

He didn’t let the Bifröst come down anywhere on or near the tower anymore.

He’d learned that lesson the hard way.

(Traversing the Bifröst, by the way, _sucks_. Just fyi. Worse than any hangover Tony had ever experienced.)

When they landed on Asgard, their feet slamming into the golden surface of Heimdall’s post, Tony stumbled and almost lost his balance– but Loki tightened his arm around Tony’s waist, holding him close against his side. Tony watched Heimdall warily, though he knew that he had nothing to worry about– Loki had already assured him that he had been hiding himself the entire time he had been on Earth out of spite. 

They stepped onto the bridge to find horses waiting for them, and Loki tugged Tony along until they were seated on the same one, Tony tucked firmly against Loki’s chest. Tony, of course, was more than grateful, since he had never ridden a horse before and probably just would have made a fool of himself otherwise, so he didn’t really think anything else of it.

He _did_ , however, notice the way that Loki’s arm remained possessively around Tony’s waist when he introduced him to Odin and Frigga, though that held a certain amount of logical sense, right?

As did the fact that they shared a room, and that said room had only one bed.

Look, Tony knew, of course, that they _did_ need to act like they were a couple, like they were in love. Loki’s future happiness was on the line here, and if they wanted a chance of this actually working then they needed to really _work_ for it. They needed to _sell_ their relationship, they needed their ‘marriage’ to be convincing, and in that regard Loki’s affectionate touches were probably a great help. 

But… Tony had seen the way that Asgardian couples acted. Frigga and Odin sat a respectable distance away from each other while they ate, and they spoke in quiet tones which, yes, suggested a private intimacy, but were a far cry from the way that Loki always pressed his thigh to Tony’s under the table, the way that his lips brushed Tony’s ear when he whispered an amusing observation about the people around them, the way that his fingers lingered against Tony’s skin at every given opportunity. And it wasn’t just that Odin and Frigga were the King and Queen, acting on ceremony or– that perhaps it was a result of their marriage being arranged, because Tony could see other couples in the room as well, and none of them were touching each other as much as Loki was touching him. Even the couples on the dancefloor held each other in a way that ensured there would always been several inches of space between them.

Even if it wasn’t just that this was the way Asgardians acted around their significant other, then it was the way that they did so at important feasts– and either way, Loki’s actions weren’t _normal_ , so they weren’t _needed_.

Tony might not have even really noticed, save the fact that Loki did it _all the time_. It wasn’t just at important feasts like the one they were attending that night. He held Tony’s hand not just in the halls but at every given opportunity, and he kissed Tony’s cheek every time they had to separate even if there was no one else in the room. They had agreed to both sleep in the bed, because they couldn’t afford for any servants to notice otherwise and begin to gossip– and often, Tony would wake in the middle of the night to the feel of a hand running through his hair, or the soft press of lips upon his forehead.

It didn’t bother him, not really, because Loki was one of his best friends and he trusted him implicitly. But it did make him wonder, because… they were doing this so that Loki didn’t have to get married to the arrogant princess who had sneered at them when they arrived, clearly feeling a little scorned. They were only doing this out of necessity, and while it wasn’t out of Tony’s comfort zone, he wasn’t initiating touches unless he _had_ to, unless there were people around that might see them. But Loki… didn’t ever stop, it and it wasn’t hard to realise that it was because every time Loki touched him, he did it because he _wanted_ to.

The way that Loki was acting was not performative, but _honest_ – and now, and by the time they were a good week into their charade, Tony had already long since begun to suspect that Loki’s actions had nothing to do with the charade at all. 

Every brush of hands, every press of lips– Loki _meant_ every one, and had used the opportunity of the pretend marriage to act the way he wished, to use the façade as a fantasy he could act out on his own.

The realisation hit Tony out of nowhere, the bread roll he had been eating at the time hanging in the air between the table and his mouth, hips lips parting in shock.

_Loki is in love with me._

Even though he had only just realised it, he knew that it was true. Looking back, there were more than a few moments that all of sudden made sense– the way that Loki hated being close to people, but didn’t mind when Tony hugged him in the workshop, or when they ended up pressed together on a too crowded couch. The few glares Tony had seen Loki shoot Pepper, glares Tony had attributed to the fact that Loki had been the one to help hold him together after Pepper had ended things almost a year before– and maybe that was still the reason, though the emotion went deeper than Tony had realised. The way that Loki would always be happy to see Tony, even on the days when he was upset and snapping at literally everyone else.

And Tony realised that he didn’t know how long this had been going on, he couldn’t pinpoint when it had started. He had always just thought all those things were Loki being _Loki_ , but… well, really, did anything need to change?

Loki was Tony’s _friend_.

But… surely things could not continue the way that they were, not now that Tony knew.

…could they?

“Anthony?” Loki asked, gently pulling Tony from his thoughts. As Tony glanced over to him, Loki raised his hand and brushed the back of it over Tony’s cheek, a gesture that he could have passed off as part of the lie only moments before, since they were in the middle of dinner, but which now made Tony’s breath shudder. “Is something wrong?”

Tony offered Loki a smile that he hoped was real enough to hide his inner turmoil. “Nah,” he said, putting the roll back on his plate. “I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.”

Loki’s brow creased, as if he didn’t quite believe him, and Tony was rather touched by the concern.

But he knew that he couldn’t say anything, not here– and really, he wasn’t sure if he should say anything at all. Loki clearly hadn’t meant for him to realise. And besides, Tony didn’t even know what to do about his recent revelation, if anything at all. So he nudged Loki’s leg under the table and changed the subject, asking Loki about the flying skiffs he had offered to show Tony the next day, so long as they weren’t detained by any of Loki’s duties.

Loki allowed the change, though he didn’t look like he was letting it go– a notion that was proven correct when they made it back to Loki’s room an hour or so later, once they were able to leave the feast.

The moment the door was closed behind them, Tony moved toward the bed, eager to get some rest after a trying day and… well, he still hadn’t made a decision on whether or not he should say anything, because he didn’t want to keep anything from Loki but he also didn’t want to make things awkward—

But, thankfully – or maybe unfortunately, depending on how it went – the decision was taken from his hands as Loki stepped into his path.

“Anthony, wait. Something _is_ wrong,” Loki said, gently gripping both of Tony’s hands and preventing him from moving away. Tony knew that if he tried to go, Loki would let him, but there was something heavy in Loki’s gaze that held him in place regardless. “If you were worried to speak to me before, then you needn’t be now. You know the room is warded, no one shall hear us in here.”

“It wasn’t that,” Tony said. It was _mostly_ true at least, and he managed to hold Loki’s gaze without wilting. “Really. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Loki’s stare bore into Tony like he was trying to puzzle him out, and Tony tried to keep his expression blank, but—

“Oh,” Loki whispered, letting go of Tony’s wrists as if he had been burned. “You… know.”

Tony sighed. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I do.”

Something pained flashed through Loki’s eyes, and his voice cracked as he spoke again. “Odin will not allow me to leave for another week,” Loki said– a statement that seemed simple, though Tony knew it was anything but.

Because that was more than a statement of fact. Loki was reminding Tony that they hadn’t finished what they had come here to do– that unless they ruined everything they had worked for, unless they admitted that they had been lying, they couldn’t afford to leave.

But… would that be worth it?

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Tony asked worriedly. “When I suggested this, I didn’t know– I didn’t think– Loki, I never meant to _hurt_ you—”

“You haven’t,” Loki said, his voice slipping into something closer to a plea. “I promise. There is no reason for you to feel any guilt over this, because I am not blind, I am not trying to convince myself that this is anything more than what it is. You were _kind_ to offer what you did, not many would have, and I am grateful. But… we should see this through.”

Tony still wasn’t sure, but– if Loki said it wasn’t hurting him, then who was he to say otherwise? And if it _wasn’t_ hurting him, then… what was the problem? Tony had already realised that Loki had felt this way for a while. Him knowing didn’t mean that there was any difference.

So, slowly, Tony gave a single nod of his head, and watched as Loki’s face washed with relief– but only for a second.

“Good,” Loki said. “That’s… good. We will continue just the way we were.”

Tony agreed to that easily, glad that his thoughts seemed to have been confirmed. He moved toward the bed to finally begin getting ready to sleep, and honestly, he was so used to it by now that he probably wouldn’t have even noticed when Loki reached out as he passed by, fingers trailing over Tony’s waist in a tiny gesture that seemed almost unconscious on Loki’s part. But Tony was still turning things over in his mind, so he _did_ notice– and he noticed all the other touches as well, the way Loki was being even more affectionate now than he had been before.

Well, in a way, it made sense.

Now that Loki knew Tony understood what he was doing, he had no reason to hide it, nothing to fear. Tony had already agreed to this, after all, and he still didn’t mind. 

When Loki wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist after he’d finished brushing his teeth and kissed his bare shoulder, Tony didn’t try to fight it. He just leaned into Loki’s hold with a soft sigh, deciding that he could let Loki have this. He could enjoy it, even, because Loki _was_ his friend, and… it was nice, that closeness, the intimacy of casual contact. It was something that Tony hadn’t had in a long time.

And so when they slid under the sheets and Loki pressed close against him so Tony was tucked into his side Tony didn’t protest, even though it wasn’t something they had done before. Well, he knew that Loki _had_ done this while they were asleep, but they always started the night completely apart, on their opposite sides of the bed. But something had shifted, and… honestly? Tony wasn’t sure entirely how he felt, but he did know this wasn’t something he wanted to stop.

Loki seemed to hesitate, for a moment, as if coming to a decision– and then he leaned in and kissed Tony with a kind of gentleness that Tony had never expected, though maybe he should have, considering.

Tony let out a soft groan, not able to deny himself this when it felt so good. He leaned in closer, and Loki deepened the kiss with strokes of his tongue. It didn’t remain gentle for long, their hands exploring, lips bruising, spines arching. One of Loki’s hands pressed into the mattress on the other side of Tony’s shoulder, letting him push himself up so he was hovering over Tony.

Then they broke apart with a gasp, Tony’s breath coming in soft pants, and Loki used his free hand to cup Tony’s cheek.

“I know that it is not within my bounds to ask,” Loki whispered, “But would you… would you be with me tonight, Anthony?”

Tony didn’t need to check for any clarification– he knew exactly what Loki was asking. And Loki didn’t push, he didn’t try and make a further move. He just waited, his expression patient and caring.

Tony didn’t even really think about it before his body was answering for him– he pushed his fingers through Loki’s hair and pulled him back down into another kiss, a kiss far more heated than the last.

Loki didn’t waste any time, kissing Tony back passionately and desperately as if he was afraid that Tony might change his mind. But that was never going to happen, because Tony was completely lost in mere moments, lost to the heady sensations and the pleasure that arced down his spine. He felt like he was high, flying on emotions and endorphins and the way that Loki’s hands and mouth blazed lines of fire everywhere they touched– and Loki really was _everywhere._ The weight of his body pressing Tony into the mattress, the salty taste of his skin on Tony’s tongue, the scent of him dancing through the air until Loki was all that Tony knew.

Loki held him through it all, kissing Tony at every opportunity, claiming his lips with searing passion which had made Tony moan before they’d even removed all of their clothes. And when Tony needed to breathe, Loki kissed his neck, his shoulders, his chest, his stomach, and then the inside of his thighs– kissing every inch of skin he could reach, as if he were worshipping Tony’s body with the greatest intent. And Tony lapped it up hungrily, his spine arching, his hands curling into the sheets, his breath coming in gasping pants. It only grew more intense once Loki was inside him, when they were rocking together with heated moans, kisses turning sloppy but– still, Loki never stopped giving them.

Tony’s body was aching, his mind was a mess, and nothing mattered but _Loki_ and the pleasure he wrought.

They held each other through their orgasms, and then Tony sank back into the bed feeling completely boneless. Loki cleaned them up using his seiðr, and then he curled into Tony’s side, nuzzling Tony’s hair and _still_ pressing kisses into Tony’s skin, peppering them over the curve of his neck, the line of his collarbone, as if he couldn’t get enough of every inch of Tony’s body.

For a while, Tony just felt blissed, exhausted and sated, and he leaned into the touches with pleased sighs. But as he came back to himself and he remembered what they meant, he couldn’t help but instinctively stiffen– and then immediately regretted it when Loki froze in response.

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered, not moving entirely away but lifting his head so that he could meet Tony’s gaze. “I do not wish to make you uncomfortable. I merely...” he sighed, and then laughed in this low, bitter way that tugged at Tony’s heart. "I merely know this will end far too soon, and I suppose, I wish to keep living in the fantasy this past week has provided.” He leaned forward again then, kissing Tony’s shoulder once more before resting his forehead against it, hiding his face and muffling his next words. “Thank you,” Loki whispered– and Tony felt him start to tremble. “Thank you, for being my lover this once. You do not know how much it means to me, dearest Anthony.”

Tony might have been shaking as well, he wasn’t sure– because he hadn’t meant for this to happen, he hadn’t _meant_ for Loki to feel this way. He didn’t– he probably should have stopped it before they had gone too far, but it had been too _nice_ , too perfect, and… and…

He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that.

He knew that Loki was important to him, he knew he wanted Loki to be happy. He also knew that taking too big a step just to make Loki happy would only make everything worse in the long run, but—

He’d enjoyed it, too.

Well, of course he had, he’d always loved sex. But this had felt like more than that, because Loki hadn’t just been having sex with him. Loki had been _loving_ him, almost worshipping him, and that… was something else entirely.

And Tony didn’t _know how he felt._

But with Loki staring at him then, those green eyes gleaming even in the darkness, Tony knew he had to say _something_.

So he cleared his throat, trying to swallow down the thick lump that felt like it was trying to choke him.

“Loki—”

“Don’t,” Loki said his tone harsh and _broken_ enough that Tony stopped in his tracks, his breath leaving him in a heavy exhale instead of words. Loki shifted slightly, curling even closer, burying his face into the curve of Tony’s neck. “I know that you are doing me a favour, that to you, this is… a mission, or something like it. I am not unaware of that, and I am not trying to make something out of this that isn’t there. To you, this is just sex. It will all end come the conclusion of this _mission_ , I _know_ that. I just... want to indulge a little longer.” He lifted his head then, his gaze pleading, though his next words were certainly more of a question than a plea. “Please, Anthony. Let me indulge a little longer?”

Tony found that he didn’t know what to say. He held Loki’s gaze, trying to think it through, forcing his mind to focus because no matter what else was going on, he knew that this was _important_.

After all, this wasn’t _just_ part of the lie– the charade might have been the excuse, the pretext, but the bedroom was _warded_. No one could hear them, no one would know, there _was no reason_ for them to be doing this—

No reason other than the way that Loki was making him feel, the slide of skin alighting every nerve, the sensations burning through him and making him _wonder_ such dangerous things.

Maybe Tony did mind, after all. Or maybe he wanted more. He didn’t _know_ , because he didn’t want to hurt Loki and he didn’t want to end up hurting himself. But Loki was waiting for an answer, and in that moment, there was only one that Tony could bring himself to give.

So he tugged Loki close again, letting him rest his head on Tony’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure if it was the right choice, he was worried it might end in only pain– but when Loki curled against him with a pleased sigh and gently kissed his neck once more, Tony couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

—

The next morning, Tony woke alone. He blinked blearily and looked over at the empty space beside him before turning to the rest of the room– but thankfully, it didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for.

Loki was already dressed, seated at his desk and going over a sheaf of papers – no doubt their schedule for the day – but when he glanced over to see that Tony was awake, his expression lit up with a soft smile.

“Good morning, Anthony,” he said. Tony wondered whether he would mention anything about the night before, and was half preparing himself for an awkward conversation– but then Loki just gestured to the steaming mug on the desk opposite him. “I thought you might be wanting that.”

Tony’s eyes zeroed in on that mug like it was a pile of gleaming treasure. He hadn’t seen it since they’d left Earth– it was big and bright red, with the yellow silhouette of Iron Man’s faceplate stamped on the side. He knew what it held before he even picked it up, and as he inhaled that bitter aroma he mentally gaped at the realisation that Loki had somehow managed to get coffee from home, just because he knew Tony had missed it.

“You’re incredible, Lokes,” Tony said, his eyes falling closed as he took a long sip. And when he looked up again, Loki was grinning, his cheeks faintly pink. But his answer was as arrogant as ever.

“Yes, I know.”

Still, it seemed like the coffee might have been a thank you, and Tony wondered whether he should tell Loki that he really didn’t _need_ to thank him for what they’d done– but then Loki was moving on with a discussion of what they were required to do that day, and Tony sat down to listen, finishing his coffee as he did so.

“And we have a break in the evening, as there is no feast today,” Loki finished. “I thought that I might show you the skiffs, as we talked about yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Tony said– and when he smiled, it was with real excitement. “That sounds great.”

The morning progressed as every other since they had arrived. Tony got dressed, and they went out to the palace for breakfast, eating in the main hall with everyone else.

Loki still held Tony’s hand, and he still kissed Tony’s cheek when they parted in a corridor, Loki going to a meeting that a mortal was not permitted to attend – not even if he was Loki’s husband – and Tony to continue his attempts to get the Asgardian smiths to give up some of their precious Uru.

Time passed quickly, as it always did when Tony was nervous about something– losing himself in the wonders of advanced technology helped, as well. And before he knew it, Loki was walking through the forge Tony had found himself in, the other smiths all staring, not quite used to having a prince in their midst. But Loki was used to being treated in such a manner, and he took no notice of them as he headed straight for Tony, his expression soft.

Tony placed his tools down and leaned into Loki’s expected embrace with a sigh, accepting the touch of lips to his cheek and then leaning his head upon Loki’s shoulder for a moment. It wasn’t entirely an act– he _had_ missed Loki during the hours apart, and it was nice to feel his warmth. But it only lasted a moment before Loki was pulling away, though he took Anthony’s hand in his, entwining their fingers.

“Come with me,” he said, leading Tony away from the forge and the smiths. “I believe I owe you an outing.”

Tony was already grinning with anticipation by the time they made it to what was essentially the palace’s garage, remembering what Loki had promised and knowing that he would have kept his word. And sure enough, they were soon soaring between buildings and up into the open air, heading for the forest that stretched almost to the edge of the realm on the opposite side of the city from the Bifröst.

Flying was exhilarating, made even more so with Loki by his side. Loki showed Tony how to steer with his hand over Tony’s on the tiller, caressing his skin as he leaned against Tony’s back, breath whispering over Tony’s cheek– and Tony felt every shift of Loki’s body with a shiver.

After a while, Tony no longer needed the assistance. He half expected that Loki would move away, but had no complaints when instead the god wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist and rested his head upon Tony’s shoulder, remaining silent save for a few quiet suggestions as to change in direction.

Loki had Tony land the skiff on a grassy rise, where they could see the rest of the city. But when Loki sat down, he chose to do so looking out not at the golden spires, but instead toward the colourful sky, toward the expanse of the universe.

It was nice to get away from the mess that was the palace– nice that while they alone in the peace and quiet, they didn’t have to worry about their lies. Tony felt completely relaxed, and he found himself lying with his head in Loki’s lap, fingers gently stroking through his hair, and Tony’s eyes fell closed with a pleased hum. He had expected that they would return for dinner, but when they grew hungry, Loki moved to the skiff to pull out a basket of food he must have requested from the kitchens, and Tony’s lips curved into a delighted smile.

They stayed for hours, in the end, just Tony and Loki in the open air. No duties, no expectations, no need to pretend– and it was one of the best dates that Tony had ever been on.

Because… it _was_ a date, wasn’t it?

And that night, once Loki had extinguished all the lights and they were lying in the dark, he leaned in to kiss Tony with just as much passion as he had the night before. Tony accepted the kiss with a pleased sound in the back of his throat, returning everything Loki had to give– because even though the line was growing difficult to draw, even though he was still unsure of how he felt, he _did_ know that this was something he wanted. At least for now, while they had the charade to hide behind.

While Tony could pretend that– well, that they _were_ pretending, even while he knew Loki was doing the exact opposite.

—

They continued in a pattern for the following week, and every day was equal torture and bliss.

Their mornings were generally peaceful. Sometimes Tony would wake to find Loki dressed and offering coffee, while other times he would open his eyes to find Loki still draped over him, his expression so peaceful in sleep– and then, he would try to extricate himself, following that silent agreement that they would do all they could to avoid any morning awkwardness.

Their days followed the schedule dictated by the duties Prince Loki and his husband were expected to perform while the Elves remained on Asgard, which sometimes meant that they would spend the day together performing the role of a doting couple, or they would part and return to each other later on with a reunion kiss on the cheek. Either way, they played their part perfectly, and… Tony couldn’t decide which was worse. Because he hated having to lie, but when Loki wasn’t there, he missed him.

(Tony began to wish that he had never suggested that they do this– but every time he had the thought he would push it away, because he _liked_ spending time with Loki. Even when it was like this.)

And at night, with the lights off and the blankets thrown over them, they would come together in the cover of darkness with what felt like stolen touches, the sex desperate and aching and… well, no matter how good the sex was, it started to feel like they were _both_ holding back. Loki was always the one who initiated it, and he remained affectionate and caring– though he also never uttered a word, not after that first night. And Tony followed his lead, trying to remain quiet as he enjoyed every moment perhaps a bit more than he should, as he slowly began to crave something a little deeper than what they had forged.

The kisses on the cheek were not enough, not when they were going to spend a whole day apart. He wanted to lean in and catch Loki’s lips, but that was something Loki only allowed when they were swathed in darkness. And the sex wasn’t _enough_ , not when Tony wanted to see the look on Loki’s face, the colour of his eyes, the curve of his smile. He wanted more than just fucking in the dark and touches just for show.

And oh, he knew the truth of the matter. He was starting to want Loki in the same way that Loki wanted him, and he didn’t want to lose the intimacy they had found when the charade came to an end. He wanted to know what it would feel like to be able to return Loki’s love, to have all of this and more and to know that it wasn’t a lie. 

Tony wanted it to be _real_.

Yet even though he had finally worked out what it was that he craved, it was difficult to try and give voice to it. After all, he had promised Loki this only until they went home, and while it had seemed like Loki wanted more than that, he had been accepting of the time constraint. What if… Loki was happy to end things when they left Asgard, was happy to go back to the way that they were before?

Tony didn’t honestly _think_ that was the case, but there was a dark little corner of his mind which wouldn’t let the doubt go. So he remained silent, and before he knew it their last night was suddenly upon them. The Elves had all left that evening, but he and Loki had elected to stay a final night and use the Bifröst to return to Earth the following morning– and Tony knew that if he did not soon make his move, he would likely forever regret it.

Yet still, he hesitated, tried to distract himself during dinner while he and Loki stole food from each other’s plates. Their conversation was cheery as they walked from the dinner hall to their rooms, and he couldn’t find the right moment. He chewed on his lip as they prepared for bed, still unsure, but then, right as Loki went to dim the lights that were dotted around the room, Tony was finally able to find his nerve– because that night, even if it were to be their last, he _knew_ what it was that he wanted.

“No, wait,” Tony said, taking Loki’s hand before he could use his seiðr to extinguish the lights. Loki turned to him, a frown creasing his brow and a question in the curve of his lips– a question that turned only to deeper confusion as Tony lifted his hands to cup Loki’s cheeks. Loki’s eyes widened, then, but Tony didn’t wait for him to ask—

He just leaned in, and drew Loki into a kiss.

Loki gasped against him, but Tony kept their lips together, not pressing for more but just waiting, letting Loki get over the surprise. Then Loki was kissing him back, slowly at first before their hands began to wander, before they were moaning into each other’s mouths.

After that, Tony didn’t give an explanation, and Loki did not ask. They simply gave and took and _shared_ everything they were, their movements slow and sweet, their touches reverent and lingering where in previous nights they had been desperate and purposeful. Tony took the lead where he could, rolling them over so he was leaning over Loki’s chest, so that Loki’s black hair was splayed over the pillow and his green eyes shone in the reflection of the lights. Tony’s eyes closed only for a moment as he kissed Loki again, and then he held Loki’s gaze as he kissed down his chest, pausing for a few moments to swirl his tongue over a hardening nipple before continuing down, still kissing, still stroking his hands over Loki’s skin in gentle touches. Every moment was soft and caring, every kiss sweeter than the last.

And it was different from before, because this time, Tony was loving Loki just as much as Loki was loving him.

Tony was kissing every inch of Loki’s skin that he could reach, whispering Loki’s name in increasingly desperate pleas and moans, no longer trying to muffle how much he wanted this, how much he wanted this with _Loki_.

They were both already out of breath by the time Tony slid down on Loki’s cock, and Loki’s hands gripped Tony’s hips like they were his last lifeline. They moved together languidly, _lovingly,_ Tony setting the pace but responding to Loki’s cues with unerring diligence. And no matter how much his eyelids fought to slide closed he continued to hold Loki’s gaze, not wanting to miss a flicker of pleasure that sparked through that green, not wanting to miss anything of that moment at all.

Tony climaxed with a shout of Loki’s name, tangled with something halfway between a promise and a curse. Loki followed not long after, his hands gripping Tony tight enough that he knew he’d have bruises, bruises that he would wear happily. Once they were both spent Tony slumped down over Loki’s chest, uncaring of the stickiness– and although his weight couldn’t have been incredibly comfortable, Loki didn’t complain. His arms curled around Tony’s back and he held him like he was something precious, his lips still dancing over Tony’s skin even as he fought to catch his breath.

But Tony could feel him trembling, and he knew Loki well enough to recognise that if he was even just slightly in less control of himself, he would be shaking apart. And the moment Tony thought he could trust his voice, he nudged Loki’s cheek with the tip of his nose.

“Loki?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Anthony,” Loki replied. He spoke just as quietly, and even as close as they were Tony near had to strain to be able to hear him. “May I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Tony said, leaning up on an elbow so that he could look at Loki properly.

There was something nervous around the edges of Loki’s expression, something that Tony wasn’t quite used to seeing– but there was also a shine of hope in his eyes that caused Tony’s breath to catch in his throat.

“Perhaps this is the last night, and perhaps you are still indulging me as I asked,” Loki said, sounding a little breathless himself as he ran the backs of his fingers over Tony’s cheek. “Maybe I am naught but a fool, but… Anthony, I must know. Why did you kiss me tonight? You never have before, at least not first, so… has something changed?”

Tony quirked a smile, something tugging at his heart but in a way that felt strangely good. “I kissed you because I wanted to,” he said. “I kissed you because I want _you_.” He leaned down to brush their lips together, feeling Loki’s smile against his own. He lingered there for a moment before pulling back and admitting the truth. “Being here, being with you… I like it, more than I ever expected I would. I _like_ being your partner Loki, and I don’t… I haven’t entirely worked out how I feel, but I know that I would miss this if we stopped. I would miss _you_ , and I—”

“You don’t want to stop?” Loki cut in, his eyes wide and burning with a longing so deep it was almost overwhelming– but did not make Tony want to back away. It only drew him in closer.

“No, Loki,” Tony said, his expression soft, his smile tender, every word burning with affection. “I would like to continue, even when we go home. I would like to be with you, if… that is something that you want, as well.”

And then, like the sun shining from behind the clouds, Loki _smiled_. It shone in his eyes, blindingly bright, and his laugh was so light and infectious as he pressed up and kissed Tony again that Tony couldn’t help but echo it with his own. Loki rolled on top and wrapped completely around him, kissing him over and over as if he couldn’t believe this had happened– as if he didn’t want to let go. Tony, of course, had absolutely no complaints, and he wrapped his arms around Loki’s waist to hold him close as he returned every kiss with one of his own. Because, yeah, Tony didn’t want to let go either. Not in the slightest.

Maybe they had started on a lie, but it had become something _real_ – and maybe, all things considered, pretending to be married for a few weeks had been a brilliant idea after all.


End file.
